Becoming a mom is undoubtedly a joyous and transformative experience, but it often comes with a profound sense of change and adjustment. Amid the overwhelming happiness of welcoming a new baby, there can be a bittersweet moments when your human baby starts absorbing the time you used to spend with your fur baby. As the demands of motherhood take precedence, the once-beloved activities with our dog might seem like distant memories. The dog, once a source of comfort, can sometimes become a reminder of the freedom and spontaneity we once enjoyed. This emotional shift can lead to feelings of distance and irritation, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of guilt. It’s essential for a new mom to acknowledge these complex emotions and understand that it’s okay to feel disconnected to this past version of herself. The upcoming solutions will offer practical ways to bridge the gap, fostering a renewed connection between her and her four-legged companion while navigating the beautiful challenges of new motherhood.
Now Mama, understand that these don’t all need to be implemented at the same time and they definitely don’t need to happen everyday. You take care of yourself and lean into your partner and village. When I brought home my first baby, it took about six weeks to feel like I could do any of this. When I brought home my second, my connection with the dogs did happen sooner but not by much! You’re becoming a whole new version of yourself and it’s okay to take time learning about who you are as a mother.
Prioritizing Quality Time: Integrating Short, Meaningful Interactions
Training Moments: It requires much less effort and time to address an inappropriate behavior the first time than to ignore it, hope it gets better, watch it transform into something worse, create damage and then try to fix it. In the postpartum days this may look like teaching the dog to follow you into a room instead of squeezing past you as you enter together. As you’re feeling better and more comfortable with your routine this may look like teaching calm associations to the leash or working on how to exit the house. When you’re fully healed and cleared for physical activity, this will expand into the neighborhood and public places.
Quality Time: I know you’re tired, time is hard to come by, and the list of who gets your time is very long BUT I’m not asking you for much. I strongly encourage you to find one thing you do with the dog that doesn’t involve the baby. It needs to be something that happens (almost) daily. It can be as simple as getting the mail together, sitting with the dog and folding laundry while the baby is sleeping, or if you’re lucky enough to have five minutes to step outside and play ball, the return on investment of that five minutes will be substantial.
Affectionate Moments: Affection doesn’t have to happen frequently or in long durations for it to be meaningful and it definitely shouldn’t happen out of guilt. Creating 2-3 minutes twice a day to share intentional affection with your dog like rubbing their eyes, massaging tense areas like their back or hips will connect you and your dog again. Just remember once you’ve started the affection, you are responsible for helping your dog understand when that event is over and to return to independence and calm.
Involving Dogs in Baby-Related Activities: Creating Shared Experiences
Joint Walks and Outings: A beautiful way to share time together is through walking. The stroller walk is where I feel on top of the world. It’s a great way for the dog and baby to share space without direct physical interaction and the dog learns that the baby is a part of two things that they love – the walk and their owner!
Side by Side Tummy Time Sessions: This is a really great one that you can do daily! This combines a little bit of training, a little bit of quality time and it’s a shared experience, there is so much value with this activity. There are so many ways to create a safe workspace if you are feeling nervous or worried. You can gate the area that you are working in so if the dog does get up to investigate there is a barrier, practice place work with your dog while your baby works on that head and neck strength, or enlist the help of your partner by having them be in charge of the dog while you are in charge of the baby. You can do this!
Designated Pet Area: You can have more than one of these in the house. While it’s great for the dogs to have a place where they can truly get away from it all, there is a benefit to giving them a few extra places in the living areas of the home so that they do choose to go to a safe place it is not entirely removed from the family. These are areas that we do not allow the baby to play in or on as they grow into toddler-hood.
Enlisting Help: Your Baby Registry
Family Participation: So we have all heard of a meal train but what about a Dog Walk AND Train? Include dog walk sign ups on your baby registry for your local friends and family. If you have a dog that struggles to connect with new humans, your list of participants might be a bit shorter but I’m going to guess those that are on it, would love to help you.
Professional Dog Services: Connect with a service before your baby is here so that if you do need to utilize daycare or dog walking services, you already know who to call, you just need to reach out. Include a section on your registry for your dog care so participants can contribute! The dog lovers will be happy to see that you’ve thought of everything.
Remember, your dog is a part of your family, they are going through change as well.
